I start this post with a very long exhale, like really long. Imagine filling your lungs up as far as you can and then exhaling slowly…but longer.

When buying this house, the first thing I imagined doing was getting rid of all the popcorn ceilings. I watched several YouTube videos where the demonstrators made it look like a piece of cake, 15 minutes and you were on your way to smooth ceilings. And now, here I sit, scoffing at that very idea. I did what the articles tell you to do, I sprayed with hot water, let it set and got to scraping. Several days later I was questioning all my decisions, when my dad very casually mentioned we could put 3/8-inch drywall over the existing ceiling. Fast forward to us hanging the drywall and cursing the constructor of this house because at some point the studs in the wall switch from one direction to another. A job that should have taken a few hours took us two days to complete.

Homeownership wouldn’t be complete if while working on one project, some other problem arises that can’t wait. For example, picture this…it’s Valentines Day 2022, your toilet is acting up, after flushing the bowl fills with water and then goes back down. And the next time it’s used, well, she’s clogged. There is not a plunger that can bring her back from her current state. Cut to several hours later you and your dad are using an auger to try to get out what’s clogging your pipes. After an hour you manage to pull out some tree roots from the line. Whatever plumbers are getting paid to deal with literal shit, I assure you, it’s not enough.

Once the great Valentines Day clogging of 2022 was resolved (which also included returning to replace a leaky cap a few days later), I returned to painting and trying to get my bedroom in order. My bed had been on the living room floor for two weeks, my back and I were both ready to be off the floor. At some point during this whole mess, I got a letter from my homeowner’s insurance that they are canceling my policy unless I put on a whole new roof on by 03/16. Um…trigger breakdown. The roof is in by no means perfect shape, but currently it’s not leaking, and while I knew I would have to replace it in the next year I certainly didn’t think it would have to be this coming month. My dad put me in touch with his insurance woman and they are happily insuring me. Trying to look at this as a positive, because while it’s almost a $1000 more a year, turns out I had a pretty bad policy, which explains why my policy was so cheap ($981). If anything had happened, I’m sure I would have had issues getting it covered.

Over the last few weeks, I have reevaluated the single home-buying decision several times. I’ve hated myself for taking a leap when there was a part of me that didn’t feel ready. I’ve cursed and cried, feeling like this house will never feel like mine, realizing that I underestimated how overwhelming it is to stumble into the unknown as the excitement wears off and the cost of repairs takes a bigger part of my budget. I have wondered how others have done this, others who have more responsibility (looking at the single mothers out there) and less resources than me have managed to come out on the other side. I’ve also smiled as I watched my dog run as fast as she can in her own backyard and felt accomplished when I’ve done small things like change the shower head, paint the bathroom vanity or breakdown boxes.

On Valentine’s Day my dad and I cracked a beer over the roto rooter we had just used for several hours, he raised his and said, “Happy Valentime’s Day”, to which I smiled and laughed. Proving you can find reasons to smile in the shittiest of situations.

Pun absoloutley intended.

Ashley