#moving – Searching for Happy

(SAD) Seasonal affective disorder: depression associated with late autumn and winter and thought to be caused by lack of light. -The Internet.

A few questions that I hope you, the non-existent reader can answer.

– How does anyone afford anything ever?

– How do people go into work after they’ve worked from home for two years?

– How do people pay people to work on their house? Where does the money come from?

Obviously those questions hypothetical. I know people save for years, don’t go to target or get on amazon or make a lot of money, blah, blah, blah. Or just charge it and have massive debt. Either way- what a stressful time to be alive. This last few months in the Midwest has been very annoying weather wise, a nice spring day followed by a day of snow, some really cold days then 20 days of rain. Repeat. Yesterday it was sunny and 70 degrees and then it f*cking hailed for 5 minutes.

Bathroom before (kind of, there was some floral wallpaper up top) this was one night after work that I decided to be destructive and rip out the ugly tall cabinet. Just tearing out the cabinet made the bathroom seem a lot bigger, I painted the cabinet with a green sample I bought to test on the kitchen cabinets.

Most days I feel like I’ve done nothing to this house, but really that’s because it’s not the way that I want it to be, truly. The way that, in reality, it won’t be for like 20 years (unless I win the lottery I don’t play). I did a mini bathroom update for around $100, and put peel and stick wallpaper on the floor because I found it for $5 on Amazon. I assume I’ll replace it with some peel and stick tiles in the next few months, but it passes the vibe check for now. Honestly I just want a bathtub, I loooong for a bathtub. Someday I’m gonna have a nice soaking tub and read in it until my skin falls off.

Sprayed down the silver on the shower, the faucet and the existing cabinet hardware with some matte black Rustoleum and painted the bathroom white. Was this the greatest idea in a closed space? Of course not, but I had this lying around and I never claimed to have good or safe ideas.

Got some shelves off Amazon for $25 and found the mirror for $39.99 at TJ Max. Made my father and brother proud (one retired and one active union electrician) by installing this light myself without shock or electrocution.

Review of the peel and stick wallpaper flooring? If you get up close and personal you can see the imperfections, but it is doing what I wanted it to do. Cover the dark ugly vinyl flooring and it cost $15 dollars and applied very easily. Pretty rental friendly, I removed some for reapplication and it left a residue, but came off easily with some goo-gone.

I think the “You’re Doing Great Bitch” Society 6 print really brings the room together, at the very least it makes me smile while washing my face.

Ashley.

I have officially lived in my house for a little over a week now. I had many assumptions about how I would feel, crippled with anxiety was not one of them.

The move itself was very easy, I always thought the next time I moved I would hire movers. I was wrong because movers are really expensive and not something I wanted to spend money on. So I rented a 17-foot Uhaul, and filled it up with my brother, his girlfriend and three of my best friends. Between the Uhaul and the three cars we were able to get everything in one trip. The final cost was $88 dollars for the UHaul, $15 dollars for gas for said UHaul, and the cost of pizza and beer.

Dog took a few days to adjust, but once she realized this was all hers she’s been just fine.

Honestly, the most stressful part of the move was moving the cats over the morning before we started moving. They don’t travel in the car much, so anytime they have to they are both panicked. It’s stressful to listen to them and their panic cries. But I got them moved, and by the next morning they seemed pretty settled in.

Once upon a time, a previous owner of this house turned the single-attached garage into some sort of den. I’m not crazy about the wood paneled room, but its a good holding space for all my stuff as I unpack. Or don’t unpack. And there has been a lot of watching tv and ignoring the fact that there are a laundry list of things I need and want to do so that this place starts to feel like home. I expected that I would move in and just hit the ground running, but there has been days where I have none nothing because of the aforementioned crippling anxiety. The complete inability to do anything because quite frankly there is just so much to do. Where do I start? What do I do? Why don’t I have $50k in my savings???

Turns out the cabinets in the kitchen were very low, my coffee maker wouldn’t fit under. My dad, brother and I moved them up. Much better.

Why I have a very depleted savings is a whole other post, and one I plan on making at some point. But the whole money thing is another stressful component to all this, and an obvious one. Like, I shouldn’t be surprised, but there are just all these things that I need that I didn’t have on my list. Like window wells, they aren’t bank breakers, but why didn’t I think to put them on the list?

I’m trying to be kind to myself, I’ve never done this before. I will learn as I go, it’s okay to take time to do things. It’s probably best that you do. I should take more moments to set in the reality and excitement that I bought a house on my own, and that I’m working towards a greater goal. I will get there. Woosah.

That being said, as I reflect, we’ve done a lot this past week. We’ve added some additional support for the foundation. We’ve raised some cabinets, my brother put up my Ring Doorbell, my mom and I cleaned A LOT (still doesn’t feel that clean, BTW), I removed the wallpaper in my bedroom and started scraping the popcorn ceiling (separate post to come, what a mess) and picked out the paint colors for my bedroom.

I will finish this ceiling this week (*she whispered to herself)….my bed is in my living room right now, not a huge inconvenience but not ideal.

This post is kind of a ramble, and that’s okay. I promised myself that with this blog I wouldn’t try to curate a life that might interest others. I wouldn’t ever make things look better or more exciting than they are. The reality is, right now, I’m a bit overwhelmed and my emotions have kind of shut down. Going to work on journaling this week: two things I’m grateful for, two things I like about myself, and two things I want to accomplish everyday.

Happy February.

Ashley.

Tag: #moving

You’re Doing Great Bitch.

The discomfort of homeownership, a fixer upper and a tight budget.